juz wanna let u know.... SHE is still irreplacable in my heart.. THEY are still irreplacable in my heart.. avoiding is not forgetting... its a selfish way of preventing myself frm being hurt by those precious moments.. i dont want goodbyes... i dont wanna avoid anymore.. i juz hope that some day... i can snap out of it.. and have the courage to see her once more.. and see two familiar smiling faces in my profile picture.... juz like b4 and always will be... smiling faces of two besties..
its been 3 months after that amazing day... 3 months since i started college..
its fun in college... thank God i met great great great classmates =) i can tell them almost everything.. ALMOST... but there are things in this world that i can only express here..
things have changed.. people have changed... life have changed... we changed...
college life is great.. no complaints.... although i still laugh and smile a lot.. compared to the 7 yeas with u.. its so so different..
fairy tail... every time i visit our blogs.. i still feel the emptiness from that day.. that amazing yet painful day... i dont mean to bring up emo feelings here but i really have to shout out somewhere.. thats why i love shouting so much =D
theres this line in fairy tail... touching yet painful line..
~ bury the sadness of losing your loved ones , into the arms of your friends ~
i have this feeling lately... although we still hang out at least once a month.. but the feel is different.. its like we hang out juz for the sake of our promise... its just different.. maybe i m being too sensitive.. but i just miss the times we had.. so so much..
hey , if u guys are reading this.. pls dont feel offended and dont bring this topic up when we meet okay ? its me.. i dont know whats gotten into me.. seriously dont feel bad for me kay ? =)
ahhhhhh !! enough of this.. back to my own life.. anyway..... i never ever regret meeting u guys.. fairy tail ^^
bury the sadness of losing your loved ones , into the arms of your friends...
but... what if.. your loved one is actually your best friend ???
its late now... 2.50am to be exact.. these few days were fun and painful at the same time..
a lot of things happened.... i wanted time to pass by ASAP during the exams but at the same time it worries me when i think about the moment i m gonna leave my friends...
15 Dec 2010 : it was my first outing together with erza & natsu... i didnt know guilds as strong as this really exist in this harsh world... i didnt know when this fairy tail spirit started to engrave in my heart... i didnt know it was so much fun just watching a movie with u guys... i didnt know it would be so heart-warming just spending time with u guys..
16 Dec 2010 : prom nite.... all dressed up.. for me , i m juz excited that i get to spend more time with erza & natsu... i can still rmb.. the moment when we saw each other.. the laughing never stops... its crazy hanging around with u guys.. its never an ordinary day when u guys are around.. coz erza & natsu are extraordinary in my heart.. always and forever.. ^^
after that...2 weeks without seeing u guys... it was hard during night time.. cant sleep.. once i close my eyes.. i'll see ur smiling faces and have flashbacks... this went on every night.. the guitar on my phone was like a switch that stimulates my tears... my heart could do nothing but weep.. its becoz my heart was filled with memories that acts as SWORDS and FIRE frm erza & natsu... my heart was so weak...
30 Dec 2010 : finally saw u guys again... gillian.. that day when u waved at me at the train station while i was walking over to u.. i reli felt like running over and hugging u =') ... chye i missed u too.. that little natsu i gave u... hope u like it.. my handcrafting isnt very good but i made it with all my heart.. juz a simple outing with u guys changed my mood so much... in the cinema laughing all the way.. in the arcade screaming all the way... in my heart there were smiles all the way..
31 Dec 2010 : it was a crazy day as expected... we found our mirajane ^^ another guild member... that nite while counting down and roasting marshmellows beside the warm fire... i felt the warmth of friendship.. its reli a strong bond... fire , marshmellow , the moon... we used these to describe our friendship.. this is so us.. crazy but cute ^^ when the fireworks started.. 3 of us pointed the fairy tail signal to the sky.. it reminded me of the parade in fairy tail... tears came out.. erza , natsu ! even if i cant see u.. i'll be looking over u =') the time came.. we ended up hugging together.. it was my first time hugging u guys.. u know.. i just couldnt let go at that moment.. lucy finally felt like she had the keys to erza & natsu's heart.. i couldnt bare to see u guys leave..
earlier just now... i rewatched fairy tail and visited gillian's blog again.. all the posts.. chye's birthday , my birthday , the pictures , the guitar , the smiles... everything.. it hurts so much ! i had been crying for an hour while thinking back and blogging.. chye.. u've done it again.. perfect timing.. that time u helped gillian in the undang class.. this time u called and gave me hope while i was so emo.. gillian.. our next aim.. go to japan and meet hiro mashima ( FT manga artist) !! maybe we can cosplay too.. erza natsu and lucy coming to life.. my goal.. our dream ^^
although its really painful.. but i never regret meeting u guys... i m glad i get to spend the last few days of 2010 and the first moment of 2011 with u guys.. the tears flowing out are warm.. coz its the exact warm feeling coming frm my heart.. but hey ! we r the strongest team rite ?!! i believe we'll see each other very soon..i love it best when we are PLUE-ing.. i'll always rmb those smiling faces... u guys will always look over me too rite ? ^^
just like the letter in the end... my dearest friends.. u r welcomed back any time..
until we meet again.. AYE !! =')
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